The Secret Manatee Conspiracy Revealed!

The war between Man and Manatee is nothing new to the denizens of south Florida. For decades, these bloated, slow-moving aquatic bovines have been viciously attacking recreational boaters and fishers, desecrating our pristine boat propellers with their hideous back-flesh.

But now the sea cow sympathizers have gone a step too far. The manatee lobby is conspiring with the possibly alien-controlled Federal Government to ban human recreation in all of Florida's King's Bay, not just the so-called "protected areas" that the manatees are currently restricted to.

As any fool can plainly see, this restriction was a joke to begin with, and unfairly enforced. Humans could be cited and fined for violating the manatees' space, but when have you ever seen one of the manatees arrested for venturing into human territory? I call that blatant speciesist discrimination!

Of course, those of us who are wise to the various and sundry conspiracies of the world know that this is about more than mans and manatees. This is all connected with the worldwide UN conspiracy known as Agenda 21. According to top-secret UN documents that were secretly leaked to the UN web site, Agenda 21 is no less than a global worldwide plan to enslave all humans and force us to live in small "eco-friendly" habitat enclosures and travel in easily-harvestable "public transportation" vehicles, all under the guise of "sustainable development."

In other words, the UN is turning us into human livestock for any alien invaders and/or manatees with a hankering for manflesh.

And of course, the liberals and manatee-hugging environmentalites are siding with the human-eaters. Surprise!

---