NASA's MESSENGER Probe Celebrates Planetary-Annoyance Milestone!

Astronomists and technicians manning the MESSENGER probe are celebrating a dubious milestone today. The space probe they launched toward Mercury nearly eight years ago has now orbited the poor planet more than 1,000 times.

Those of us versed in the ways of astrology know full well that this is nothing to celebrate. It is only a matter of time before the winged planet Mercury becomes annoyed by this annoyance and decides to punish us with an asteroid or two.

The basic fact that the eggheads at NASA/Johns Hopkins University fail to understand is that some planets simply do not wish to be orbited. If Mercury wanted a moon, don't you think it would already have one?

NASA is playing with doom on this one, folks. If the world were not already scheduled for an apocalypse on December 21 of this year, I'd say our MESSENGER-meddling was a dire threat to human civilization!

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