Thursday, April 23, 1970

Scientist Warns of "Global Warming." Could It Be a Hoax?

Would you believe that your car, television, radio, and nuclear power plant are all melting the polar ice caps?

Neither do I. But that's just what Dr. J. Murray Mitchell Jr. wants you to believe. In a presentation to the American Geophysical Union this week, Dr. J. will present his ludicrous hypothesis - that our modern air pollution is actually warming the globe!

The idea is preposterous, of course. We puny humans are just one species, and not even the largest one on Earth. The three billion of us are far outnumbered by birds, flies, trees, and even bacteria, so our impact on the "environment" is negligible at best.

Furthermore, this hypothesis will give people the ridiculous impression that air pollution is some-how a bad thing! Can you imagine?

Air pollution is nothing less than a symbol of our success as a species. The smog filling our urban skies is a visual, olfactory, gustatory, and respiratory representation of our technological prowess. It is something to be proud of - not lambasted by errant geophysical unionists!

Mark my words - this so-called "global warming" idea is nothing more than a hoax, certain to be forgotten in a few weeks.

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