Wednesday, April 15, 2009

More Global Warming Mathemagic from NOAA

Well, the folks at NOAA (which is apparently short for Not Opposed to Arithmetical Ambiguity) have released yet another load of so-called "statistics" on the so-called "temperature anomaly" for the month of March, 2009. And, as predicted, the document presents numerous unfounded accusations about the state of the world's temperature. The global average land and sea temperature, according to NOAA, was 55.84 degrees Fahrenheit, a so-called anomaly of .94 degrees above the 20th century mean of 54.9 degrees.

Oh, really? According to whose math? NOAA's? Are we to just take their conclusions at face value, knowing full well that NOAA and NASA and the IRS and all those other government agencies are part of The Global Numerological Conspiracy?

I challenge NOAA to prove it. PROVE to us, the American taxpayers, that 55.84 is a HIGHER number than 54.9. PROVE it, NOAA! Show your work! Or do high-level governmentocospirator mathemagicians somehow get a pass when it comes to PROOF?

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Bernie Madoff: Just Another Alternative-Math Martyr


In just the latest example of the mathemagic-government conspiracy against alternative calculation beliefs, Bernard Madoff is now being sued for "fraud." And as usual, the liberal media has bought the math-lobby's cover story hook, line, and sinker.

This latest salvo against the math skeptic community has been launched by a group of so-called "victims" of Madoff's so-called "Ponzi scheme" who claim to have "lost" about 7 billion so-called "dollars." Yes, perhaps that's how it looks to the pencil-pushing accountants who willingly submit to the "consensus" math hegemony, but to we alternative-math believers Madoff's investment was a stellar success.

His "victims" profited handsomely in alternative-math terms, and the lawsuit being brought against Madoff by this sorry bunch of ingrates shows how deeply-entrenched the math conspiracy goes. Shame on you, Fairfield Greenwich! Shame on you for persecuting those who refuse to submit to "consensus" calculation.


Sunday, April 05, 2009


So I've been looking over some astronomicals here and encountered some shocking news. The to-be-discovered comet/possible orbiting space weapon C/2010 X1 (Elenin) is going to kinda sorta align with the red planet Mars tomorrow.

Mars, which is already angered by the robotic rovers trespassing on her ruddy red surface, is probably going to be so angered by this new transgression that it will throw an earthquake at us, with devastating results.

I know you're all questioning the same question: where is the earthquake going to hit?

My astrologer sources point to the small town of L'Aquila, in central Italy. Now I know what you're saying: science can't predict earthquakes. And you're right - it can't. But pseudoscience can. And I'm not the only pseudoscientist predicting this earthquake. Italian seismologer Giampaolo Giuliani predicted earlier this week that an earthquake of earth-shaking proportions would befall L'Aquila tomorrow, using his patented radon-detection techniques. Techniques, I should add, that have been summarily dismissed by lame-stream science for the ridiculous reason that they haven't been proven to work.

Are our predictions correct? Only time will tell. But I'm pretty sure this isn't a drill - it's the real deal.

You've been warned, town of L'Aquila, Italy! Take heed/precautions!