Valid Point Puts Climatists All Up In A Tizzy!

COMEDY!

So the libero-scientifico-intellegentsiosphere is all running about with their arms waving so frantically they're about to put holes in the leather patches on their tweed jackets. The reason? A recent editorial by Robert Bryce in the prestigious and peer-reviewed Wall Street Journal that threatens to rip apart the very fabric of the scientifico-numerist factiverse.

In addition to the completely valid and not at all disingenuous points Bryce makes in the article is this particularly irksome passage that has raised the collective irks of the science denial denialosphere:

The science is not settled, not by a long shot.

Last month, scientists at CERN, the prestigious high-energy physics lab in Switzerland, reported that neutrinos might—repeat, might—travel faster than the speed of light. If serious scientists can question Einstein's theory of relativity, then there must be room for debate about the workings and complexities of the Earth's atmosphere.

Bryce is, of course, completely correct. If the results of the OPERA experiment are correct and not merely statistical glitch caused by the inherent fallibility of numbers, it proves that General Relativity - and by extension Special Relativity - are both completely and utterly wrong.

And if General and Special Relativity are wrong, all of science is in question and all facts are merely illusions. Just like I've been arguing for years!

Thank you, Robert Bryce, for finally daring to tell the truth about scientific truths!

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IRS Sides With Numbers In Math-Error Cases

Here's a story that should come as no surprise to anyone. The IRS is the enemy of humanity.

I'm not saying that because of the last time they audited my completely legitimate business expenses, but because of a new report in The Hill that I found simply shocking!

In response to a new report recommending that the IRS respond quickly to correct mathematical errors in income tax returns, the IRS said "no."

In other words, they're siding with the numbers!!

If you're not outraged, you should be. You. Should. Be.

These cheesefed, calculator-having, pocket-protecting bureaucrats are taking the numbers' side when errors occur in tax returns. And as we all know, numbers can't be trusted.

This is nothing short of species treason!

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NASA Proves Einstein Right, Numeratocracy Wrong

NASA today announced the successful results of the Gravity Probe B mission, which validated Einstein's theory of General Relativity by showing that space and time are indeed warped by gravity. This result confirms what The Math Skeptic has been saying for years - that all time and distance measurements - and by extension the numbers used to make them, are inherently distorted and thus invalid.

Einstein's theory goes thusly: the Earth, like all celestial bodies, sits on a giant invisible rubber trampoline. This theory was quite revolutionary in 1916, as it displaced the previous Infinite Turtles theory from its spacetime pedestal, and has been under constant scrutiny in the century hence by IT proponents. According to General Relativity, the surface of this trampoline is distorted so much by the planet's immense mass that time and space themselves are bent into curves.

General Relativity also predicted that the rotation of the planet would also drag the frame of the trampoline around with it as it turned, much as a fat guy doing a back spin will drag the cardboard around with him as he breakdances, presumably to Herbie Hancock's "Rockit." This is known among IT² proponents (Invisible Trampoline, not to be confused with Infinite Turtle proponents) as frame-dragging.

The Gravity Probe B mission, using the most accurate gyroscopes ever made, proved both trampoline curvature and frame-dragging to be true, and that gravity distorts spacetime by 0.00183383 of a degree per year.

By extension, this means that all numbers vary by 0.00183383 per year as well, throwing all of arithmetic in doubt. That math homework you did 20 years ago is now off by 0.03667 per digit. However, if you go back to your grade school and appeal to have your grades changed (grades which also are now off by 0.03667 of a letter, incidentally), you will be mocked and ridiculed. Such is the pervasity of the arithmetic cabal.

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