Friday, September 14, 1984


And by "Where's The Beef", of course, I mean, "Where's The Birth Certificates?"

Mr. President, Ambassador Mondale:

I, The Math Skeptic, a humble voter and citizen of these here United States, need to see your identificaton. The security of our planet is in grave danger, what with the ongoing threats of Communism, Pac-Man ghosts, popular music, and alien invasion.

We, the people, need to be absolutely certain when we pull that lever or punch that card or drop our ballots in that slot that we're voting for a 100% human President.

So I ask you, as I have for the last few elections, to please make public your birth certificates so we may be assured of your homo sapienity.

The Math "Where's The Beef" Skeptic

Monday, April 02, 1984

Expeditious Propaganda!

The book shelves of our neighborhood book stores are notoriously repletitious with books promoting the numero-mathematical propagandic agenda. Gerald W. Kelly's latest tome, Short-Cut Math is a new addition to this dubious genre, and does not fail to disappoint in its service to Kelly's arithmeto-numerist masters.

These so-called "short-cuts" to solving "problems" of addition, subtraction, division, and other numeristical constructs are nothing more than arithmetical obfuscation intended to keep us from seeing whatever it is the numbers are actually up to.

If this book is successful, the numbers and their arithemetist allies will be able to operate carte blanchely in affecting the downfall of human civilization without any human scrutiny. This is indeed a dangerous trend indeed, and I hope Mr. Kelly knows just how much he has put all of humanity at risk with this hideously irresponsible public-ation!