Saturday, July 31, 1976



A top-secret photo has just been leaked from the Viking News Center at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory that you have to see to believe!!!

I've seen it, and I STILL don't believe what I'm seeing!!!

The Viking Orbiter found A MILE-WIDE FACE ON MARS that could only have been formed by alien intelligence:
The huge rock formation in the center, which resembles a human head, is formed by shadows giving the illusion of eyes, nose and mouth. The feature is 1.5 kilometers (one mile) across, with the sun angle at approximately 20 degrees.
The question, of course, is which alien intelligence?

My strong suspicion is on the Manthour of the Tau Ceti system. The face sort of looks like them. And we know that they've visited our humble system before, having wiped out their moon base during the faked non-landing of Apollo 13

Sure, it could be one of any number of alien visitors to our humble system, but my strong suspicions fall on the Manthour. This Mars Face-Base a very good reason to begin protecting ourselves NOW from what is obviously an imminent alien invasion. We need to begin seeding our atmosphere immediately with airplane trails of aluminum and barium salts, elements which are toxic to the Manthourian bio-composite invasion ships.

This chem-trail grid could be the only thing standing between us and complete annihilation.

Friday, July 16, 1976

An Open Letter To The Candidates

President Ford and Governor Carter,

Congratulations to both of you on your nominations for the office of President of the United States. You are both no doubt aware that national security is vital to the security of our nation. As President, you will need to defend our great country from enemies foreign, domestic, and extra-terrestrial.

It is thusly imperative that we, the American voting populace, know that both of you are prepared to protect us from all these enemies - particularly of the unearthly variety. We must know for certain that the man we are electing as Leader of the Free World is indeed one of us - a human being of flesh and blood gestated in the traditional fashion.

We cannot risk having a pod-cloned Manthourian spy drone from Tau Ceti b serving in the highest office in the land. We simply cannot.

Therefore, I am asking both of you to publically issue, for the viewance of the general public, your Birth Certificate and/or Certification of Live Birth. Thenceforth we shall be assured of your humanity and will be able to confidently go to the ballot box knowing that we are voting for one of us.

The Math Skeptic