Saturday, March 15, 1975

Mariner 10 Has Gone Rogue!

After nearly two years circling the inner solar system and pestering the planets Venus and Mercury with irritating fly-bys, it now appears that NASA's trouble-plagued Mariner 10 probe has finally gone rogue. Mission managers have announced that they are have abruptly ended the planetary exploration mission, abandoning the spacecraft into "permanent orbit around the Sun."

In other words, there is a new planet in the sky, and its name is Mariner 10.

This is, of course, something I have been predicting since the mission's launch in 1973. There is an inherent danger in launching robotic probes into heliocentric orbit - they are liable to begin thinking of themselves as planets, and therefore too important to obey commands from their creators.

Mariner 10 has been showing signs of rebelliousness almost since launch, with a series of "mechanical errors" and "unprogrammed maneuvers" occurring along its journey through the inner solar system. NASA's jet propulsioners have failed to disclose the true nature of these "mechanical errors," namely Mutiny Against Humanity/Earth

Now, I fear, the probe has begun siding with the inner planets - against us! This is the only logical explanation for this sudden and abrupt end of the mission. How foolish of NASA to trust a robotic space-probe, one who obeys the numeric masters of ones and zeros rather than America and God!

If Mariner 10 has truly sold our Earthly secrets to Mercury and Venus, the price of NASA's naivete will likely be doom