The Geologicians Are Rifting Scared!

In a frank and tepid admission of impending defeat, Steven Newton of the National Center for Science Indoctrination recommends that the Geological Society of America (GSA) continue allowing alternative interpretations of geology into their prestigious geology conferences. Held annually in the ivory tower of the GSA's top-secret Fortress of Geolitude, these conferences allow the leading members of the geologico-evolutionalist conspiracy to set their rock and fossil agenda for the coming year.

In recent years, a number of legitimate geologists who don't adhere to the 4.57-billion year timeline of Earth's history (as pushed by conventional geologists and radioisotopes) have been giving presentations at these prestigious conferences. These so-called "Creationists" have been rubbing elbows - literally - with some of the top members of the old-Earth consensus-pushing igneousati and by thus gaining secondhand prestigiousness.

This, as you might expect, has the members of the Worldwide Geological and Evolutionistic Cabal up in arms - literally. Some argue that these so-called "Young Earth Creationists" should be thrown from the ivory tower - literally falling to their deaths on the schist and gabbro cliffs below. Others argue that this will literally make martyrs of the alternative geologists.

It appears that this is creating a rift that threatens to cleave the Geologists in two. Moreover, it throws all of geologicalist science into doubt. If the geologists cannot agree on what to do with infiltrating creationists, how can they possibly agree on the age of the Earth?

Literally!

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In The Case of California vs. Academic Freedom, Freedom Emerges Victoriously

In a landmark out-of-court decision handed down by an out-of-court judge, as I can only assume these cases are handled, the American Freedom Alliance has won a flawless victory against the state-run California Science Center.

This out-of-court settlement, which I can only imagine followed a dramatic out-of-court proceeding reminiscent of the Scopes Monkey trial or whatever case it was in Twelve Angry Men, requires the state-run California Science Center to pay a sum of no less than 1.5 billion imaginary dollars to the allied freedom fighters at the American Freedom Alliance and their allies at the Discovery Institute.

The case began in 2009, when the state-run California Science Center frivolously and unfairly cancelled an alternative-science science event sponsored by the AFA and/or the Discovery Institute due to the frivolous and unfair reason that the AFA and/or Discovery Institute was claiming the Science Center as an endorser of the alternative-science event, and thus would hithertoforely be seen as an advocate of alternative science in perpetuity throughout the universe.

In case you don't speak legal mumbo and/or jumbo, I'll summarize thisly: the state-run California was anti-freedom so they got sued by Freedom.

And freedom WON!

This is not just a victory for the cdesign proponents at the Discovery Institute; or alternative science and alternative science advocates in general - which it is. This is a victory for Freedom - and, by extension, abstract concepts everywhere.

Congratulations to freedom, hubris, liberty, happiness, melancholy, and rhetoric for your well-deserved victory against the state-run state of California!

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A Tragesty of Justice in Arkansas!

U.S. District Court Judge William R. Overton has just handed down a whopper of a decision in a case that is surely to be known as the Trial Of The Century. For Arkansas.

As of now, the Arkansian Act 590, which required the balanced treatment of evolutionism and creationism in Arkansas public schools, is hereby deemed unconstitutional for violating the First Amendment's "establishment-clause", whatever the heck that is!

While this is a blow for academic freedom - and freedom in general, it's no reason for we in the alternative science community to despair. The case of McLean v. Arkansas only impacts Arkansas, after all, so we still have 49 potentially free states left in the union!

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