The Plants Have Sided With The Numbers! (DOOM)

I don't normally read British news. In fact, one could say that I don't approve of the British, what with their left-side drivingness and blatant misuse of U's. But today I happened to stumble internetarily onto an article on the BBC News that literally frightened me to doom!

The numbers, not content with having vanquished the entire animal kingdom by driving its most important species (us) to near extinction in last December's apocalypse, are now turning their evil attentions onto the plant kingdom!

That's right. The plants are doing math.

British scientists studying the aptly-named Arabidopsis thaliana plant have found that it uses arithmetic to calculate the amount of starch it needs to metabolize overnight or something or other. I didn't really read the article, as I was too busy panicking to concentrate.

Besides my usual sentiments of fear, panic, and abject terror, I am also finding myself reacting to this story with a sense of utter betrayal. How could the plants do this to me?

Especially since I have recently befriended one of their kingdomkind!

Yes, in these sad, lonely months since the extinction of the vast majority of the human race, I have adopted a small leafy house-plant of the green and leafy variety to keep me company. I have watered it and given it dirt and table scraps as any good plant-parent would.

And this is how the plantar kingdom chooses to repay me. By siding with the numbers.

Most of all, I blame the damned environ-mentalists! Those tree-hugging hippie tree-huggers have no doubt inflated the plants' egos with their talk of flower power and tree huggability! Now the plants are seizing on our moment of near-extinction to literally take over the world.

I do not know how much more doom I can with-stand!

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THE WORLD ENDS TOMORROW!!!

Gentlemen!

I do hope that each and every one of you has prepared for tomorrow's Apocalypse! For suffice it to say that if you have not prepared for the December 21, 2012 Mayan apocalypse then you are unprepared for the apocalypse!

Now many of you may be saying "But The Math Skeptic! How can I possibly prepare for the End of all Earth? If all of us are going to die, what is the point of preparing?"

And indeed you have a point. An incorrect one, but a point nonetheless.

After all, when the apocalypse arrives tomorrow, most of us will die. Probably you, maybe even me. This is an inavoidable fact of apocalypses.

But there is definitely a very very slim chance that you will survive and go on living in the post-apocalyptic nightmare world to come. It is this eventuality for which you must prepare.

In order to assist the irresponsible minority of you who have procrastinated until now to begin your preparations, I hereby offer this Preparations Checklist For The Apocalypse

• Move somewhere far away from cities, power plants, shopping malls, and oceans. Construct an impenetrable subterranean concrete bunker under your house or in your back yard.
• Stockpile non-perishable foods, non-perishable water, and non-perishable alcoholic beverages in your subterranean concrete bunker.
• Transfer all vital identification and tax documents to microfiche, insert microfiche into a watertight capsule, and implant under your skin - preferably somewhere readily-accessible.
• Acquire a motorcycle by any means necessary.
• Keep a close eye on your neighbors - one or more of them may be conspiring to form a post-apocalyptic cannibal motorcycle gang. Plan to join and/or eliminate them once The End comes.
• Make peace with friends and loved ones, including your ex-wife and your estranged son. (Note that this doesn't mean you're putting him back in the will after what he did. You're just making peace.)
• Panic
• Make sure your subterranean concrete bunker has a can opener.
• When all other tasks are completed, take a few moments for quiet contemplation of your life and your contributions to this world, however meaningless they are about to become in the grand scheme of existence.
• Panic

Only the future knows what the future will bring - be it death, annihilation, total destruction, or chronology-altering timequake. Maybe all of us will survive (doubtful), maybe none of us will. Whatever the outcome, we will arrive at the future in less than a day.

And now, on the eve of the global numeropocalypse I would like to thank each and every one of you who have read The Math Skeptic over the past four decades. It is for you that I do this. And also for me. I do hope that over the past forty years of blogging I have imparted some knowledge and wisdom and opened your feeble minds to the great truths about the dangers of mathematics.

I wish all of you the best during tomorrow's catastrophic events. May your inevitable deaths be as swift and painless as possible. (While I do hope for your survival, the cold reality of reality dictates that it shall likely not be the case.) Blessings and luck be upon you all!

Sincerely,
The Math Skeptic

P.S. OH! I almost forgot to mention!

I will be live-blogging the apocalypse tomorrow, for as long as I have power, Internet connectivity, and consciousness. If you're still alive, please come back and read my frequent updates!

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The World Ends One Week From Today!

Have you ever heard the expression "Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life?"

Well, today is like that. Only a more accurate expression would be "Today Is The First Day Of The Last Week Of Your Life".

And indeed this statement may well be true. Nevertheless, there is a very slim chance that you will survive next Friday's Total Global Apocalypse and/or Timequake, which as we all know was recently confirmed by NASA as the end of the world.

In which case, you should probably make some preparations, just in case.

It is not too late to put together a last-minute Emergency Preparedness Post-Apocalyptic Nightmare World Survival Kit that may allow you to survive the world to come if you manage to survive the End of the World. Here is a comprehensive list of the items you will need:

• Seven gallons of distilled water
• Seven gallons of distilled vodka
• One pair of heavy-duty goggles
• One geiger counter
• Clean socks
• Two gallons of bleach
• Matches
• A stack of old newspapers
• A case of vintage 1992 Crystal Pepsi
• Insect repellant
• Sealed and properly-labelled vials of your own bodily fluids
• Seven pairs of gardening gloves
• A can opener
• Canned and/or freeze-dried food
• Motorcycle
• Flashlight with extra batteries
• Battery-powered radio
• English-Russian phrasebook
• Pruning shears
• Sewing kit
• Several years' worth of back issues of National Geographic
• A clean scarf

Once you have assembled all these items, store them in a box labelled "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL AFTER THE APOCALYPSE" and seal with duct tape (by the way, you should add duct tape to the list above. Also, penicillin.) You may want to leave the flashlight and emergency radio out of the box so you can find the box once the global power grid goes down, as it's going to be very dark in your subterranean concrete bunker.

Also - subterranean concrete bunker. You should definitely get one of those. If you don't already have one, a regular basement will do - be sure to seal all the windows and doors with plastic sheeting and duct tape.

With these preparations in place, you just might survive.

Well, probably not. I mean, chances are you're going to die and/or be sent backwards in time. But if you do manage to survive by some miracle of good fortune, this cachet of supplies will keep you alive until you and the remaining survivors re-establish a basic pre-agrarian hunter-gatherer societal structure in your fiefdom.

I wish you luck. You are going to need it.

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A Brief Synopsis of the End of the World

"Some say the world will end in fire, others in ice. I say it's probly gonna be a little of both."

One thing is absolutely certain: the world is ending on December 21. There is no question about that, as confirmed by the overwhelming consensus of 2012 Doomsday believers who believe that doomsday is coming this month.

Many readers have written to ask me how the world is going to end. The details here are a bit fuzzy, but the fact is that on December 21, a confluence of astronomical forces will come together in a "perfect storm" of doom. I'll try and lay out the scenario to the best of my ability.

The main driver of doomsday will be a close encounter with the invisible rogue planet Nibiru. This planet, also known as Planet X by its discoverer -- Slavic patent-clerk-turned-astrophysicist Zecariah Sitchin -- will literally pass between the Earth and the Moon on Dec. 21. This will split the Moon in two and cause the Earth's axis of rotation to flip - a 180 degree pole shift.

At the same time, we will be entering a period in our orbit about the sun that eclipses us from the supermassive black hole at the galactic center. This unfortunate galactic alignment will literally cut us off from the galaxy's critical supply of cosmic rays, opening a hole in the ionosphere and causing our magnetic poles to shift sideways and/or turnwise (leading pseudoscientists are still debating this point.)

The conflict between our rotational axes and geomagnetic poles will cause the Earth's mantle to liquify, sending the tectonic plates into free drift and allowing continents to roam about the planet like stray cattle. During this crustal displacement, some land masses may sink, drowning entire countries under oceans of lava and oceans.

There may also be a supercaldera eruption or two. Again, pseudoscientists are fuzzy on this point.

What is not in doubt is the fact that these events will literally rip all human infrastructure, governance, and societal structure from its foundations and send the remaining survivors back to pre-agrarian times. The only difference between the future us and our ancestors is that we will have motorcycles with which to form cannibal motorcycle gangs, perpetually engaged in tribal warfare with rival gangs over dwindling supplies until somebody figures out how to invent fire again.

In short, it will be a bad day.

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Three Weeks Until The End Of The World!

Have you started preparing for the apocalypse? If so, I congratulate you on your responsible preparedness. If not, I lambaste you for your irresponsible lack of preparedness!

This is serious, people! Unlike all of the other times I've warned of impending doom, this time the doom is ACTUALLY ABOUT TO IMPEND!

For those who care to know. I have begun my preparations for the end of the world and the post-apocalyptic nightmare that is to follow. From a source that shall remain nameless, I have acquired a year's supply of vintage Crystal Pepsi, which I have been informed will be a sought-after barterable currency in the world to come.

I have also stockpiled the obvious foodstuffs such as canned goods and canned noodles and can openers. And in case I need to perform emergency surgeries or harvest organs from the recently apocalypsed, I have a full supply of home medical supplies (most acquired legally).

And I also have four cases of cheap vodka with which to drown my sorrows for however long I survive after the world as we know it is cast into utter nightmarish disorder. These may also be useful to gain acceptance into one of the cannibal motorcycle gangs that will be roaming the world after the world has ended.

I now feel reasonably assured that I have taken adequate precautions to ensure my prolonged survival in the nightmare world to come. If you have not done the same, I can only hope that you will come to your senses in the next threeweeks.

Doom!

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NASA Declares War On Mars!

In a shocking development sure to shock you all, NASA's new Curiosity rover has now revealed itself for what it really is: an interplanetary weapon of mass destruction.

Chilling imagery of the Mars Science Laboratory's destructive rampage.

Top-secret images obtained from the Mars Science Laboratory's top-secret web site have revealed this shocking truth: that the roving probe is using a space laser to vaporize the planet Mars one rock at a time.

Disguised with the innocuous-sounding name "ChemCam," the roving weaponized laser has begun the systematic process of destroying the Red Planet. The only mystery is why. Is it a preventative strike to put off an impending Martian attack? Is it an attempt to cover up Manthourian Mars bases before they can be discovered? Is Mars blocking our view of Jupiter? Only the mystery knows for sure.

The other uncertainty is how the other planets will react to this unprovoked invasion of the outermost of the terrestrial planets. We can only assume that they will react in usual planetary fashion - with an onslaught of Earth-crossing asteroids launched in our direction.

So thank you, NASA. For DOOM!

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Science: Time-Traveling Volcanoes Are Trying To Kill Us All!

A new article in ScienceNow today proposes an absolutely frightening idea: what if volcanic eruptions could travel in time?

The article is based on a recent study on the eruption of Iceland's Laki fissure in 1783-1784. In the study, which I didn't read because I was so terrified by the abstract, lead author Anja Schmidt of the University of Leeds and her et als ask the horrifying hypothetical: What if the eruption of 1783 were to happen today instead?

The results, as you might predict, are equal parts doom and gloom: travel disruptions, global air pollution, and 142,000 additional deaths of heart disease in Europe. These problems are in addition to the spacetime paradoxes that would be generated by the 1783 eruption having not have happened in 1783, all of which would cascade to create an awful mess of the present day.

This is certainly terrifying enough. But to follow this study's premise to its illogical conclusion, it implicates that all past volcanic eruptions are not bound by the constraints of chronology. You might think you're perfectly safe from, say, the 79 AD eruption of Vesuvius or the eruption of Mount Krakatau in 1883. Not anymore! You could wake up tomorrow morning to find the Toba supereruption of the Upper Pleistocene happening in your living room!

In rare circumstances, the only honorable thing to do is panic. This, I think, qualifies as one of those circumstances.

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UNDISCOVERED COMET TO IMPACT EARTH ON FEBRUARY FOURTH

Astronomers monitoring a pair of meteor surveillance cameras have discovered a new meteor shower they have dubbed the February Eta Draconids. According to the astronomers, the meteors "are likely the dust trail of an earth-threatening long-period comet that remains to be discovered."

It's a very interesting find, because-- wait - what did they say? Did they say EARTH-THREATENING??

I just re-read my first paragraph. It did say earth-threatening. We're DOOMED!

Apparently, this extinction level Earth targeter, dubbed Comet Lyytinen, has a highly-tilted 53-year orbit that crosses Earth's from time to time. Which means that there is a possibility of a collision. Since this meteor shower occurs on February fourth, it means that the collision will happen on February fourth.

Forget Comet Elenin - it's Comet Lyytinen that's gonna KILL US ALL!

Of course, the worldwide astronomical cabal is working overtime to try and pacify the public, calmly telling us "Don't Panic" from inside their reinforced titanium telescope bunkers.

Dr. Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer and expert on all the ways the universe can kill us, is one of the leading impact-alarmism denialisers. "Remember, there are dozens of meteor showers every year," he says in a recent blog post while safe in his concrete survival dome on a Colorado mountaintop, "so really we cross paths with lots of comets. But comet impacts are exceptionally rare! Put it this way: how many people do you know who have been killed by comets hitting the Earth?"

Okay, Dr. Plat, I'll see your logic and raise you one. How many people do you DON'T know because they WERE killed by comets hitting the Earth? I'm willing to bet that there were plenty of alarmism-denialists among the dinosaurs, too, right before they were extinctified 65.5 million and/or 5,000 years ago.

I rest my case. You can have your calm, reasoned assessment of astronomical odds. I much prefer panic.

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Comet Elenin Update: We're Probably Still Doomed

Mad Astronomer Leonid Elenin continues unabated in his effort to convince the concerned public that his top-secret long-period space-based weapon of mass destruction is merely a harmless comet. Together with his evil sidekick Trent Reznor, Elenin has brought NASA, the U.S. Navy, the European Space Agency, and Roscosmos to their collective knees with his threat of global annihilation.

In a recent blog post, Elenin proudly announces that the Navy's Sun Earth Connection Coronal and Heliospheric Investigation (SECCHI) has capitulated to his demands, and will roll their STEREO spacecraft from their current Sun-orbiting positions - critical for warning us when we have angered our solar mother and she is slapping us with a solar flare - to observe his C/2010 X1 space weapon as it buzzes the Earth in September and destroys Norway with its Tesla death rays.

The Tesla death ray aboard this eccentrically-orbiting space station has already been used to create numerous earthquakes around the world since December 2010. We know this because the "comet" was discovered in December 2010 and there have been multiple earthquakes since then. Thus, by the scientific law of Correlation = Causation, the only logical conclusion is that the onboard Tesla coil has been zapping the Earth from beyond the main Asteroid Belt and shifting tectonic plates, with catastrophic results.

We can only hope that this astronomical madman will be stopped before he unleashes his tectonic power on Norway, and the fjords are destroyed forever.

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DOOM

As you probably know already, today is the end of an era.

STS-135, The last flight of Space Shuttle Atlantis.

The day when our possibly pod-cloned President single-handedly kills our manned space program, leaving us dependent on the Communists for access to our orbiting space weaponry on the International Space Station.

It's a sad day indeed.

I don't like to delve into doom and gloom too often on this blog, but there are no other words for this. We are, in short, doomed.

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WE ALL DIED!

If you are seeing this pre-recorded, auto-posted blog post, it means that the Texan-sized planet-killer asteroid MD 2011 has plowed into the Earth and obliterated all life on the planet, including The Math Skeptic. And with the apparent exception of you. So congratulations.

This tragedy should not have been allowed to happen. We should have known that this would happen one day, and been prepared by building a solid titanium shield circling the entire globe that would deflect planet-killers like this one. Most of all, we should not have relied on inherently unreliable mathematics to "predict" the orbits of randomly-moving objects like planets and asteroids.

To those few survivors still able to read this, I wish you luck re-populating the planet and restoring human civilization. Please try to maintain order so the world does not descend into dystopian chaos like in The Book of Eli. That movie was hell of depressing.

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WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE AGAIN!!!

If you spend as much time on the internets as I do, you have no doubt heard by now of asteroid MD 2011, which is scheduled to slam into our planet today and obliterate all plant and animal life. According to unsubstantiated reports I either read or dreamt up while falling asleep in front of a Stanley Kubrick marathon, this asteroid is carrying lethal amounts of the rare isotope Balthorium-G, which will shroud the planet in a radioactive cloud for 93 years.

Of course, NASA and the usual crowd of alarmism-deniers is saying that there's no cause for alarm, and that this giant rectangular planet-killer is going to miss the planet and even if it were to hit us it'd be too small to reach the ground and would likey burn up in the atmosphere. Exactly what you'd expect them to say if they were covering up our impending doom in order to prevent mass panic. And since we already know from unstantiated and possibly apocryphal reports that NASA has instructed all employees to take contingency measures and report to the nearest FEMA resettlement camp, it MUST be true.

As always, the Math Skeptic would like to point out that this tragedy could have been avoided were we not so horribly dependant on numbers to predict the orbital paths of near-Earth asteroids. Unfortunately, it is far too late to do anything about it now. The only responsible thing to do is PANIC.

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WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!!!!

And it's not cause he's black, ok?

Let's just get that straight.

It's cause he's probably an android alien pod-clone programmed to destroy the global economy and send the world into conflict and chaos while simultaneously weakening our defense forces and promoting homosexualism to make it easier for the aliens to invade.

NOT because he's black.

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A MOST DANGEROUS BOOK

Some authors just don't know when to leave well enough alone.

It's not enough that John Derbyshire taunted the evilicious forces of numeracy with his 2004 tome about Bernhard Reimann's unsolvable math problem. He just had to follow it up with Unknown Quantity: A Real and Imaginary History of Algebra.

As any Math Skeptic knows, algebra is known universally as the most dangerous of all the maths. First, the use of variables creates a dangerous portal to the unknown netherworld of quantum stochasticity, from which any manner of random hideous creature could emerge.

Secondly, the juxtaposition of numbers and letters leaves our poor, innocent letters susceptible to bad influence and peer pressure from the numbers. I mean, one minute you could be solving for y, and the next minute the letters are conspiring the overthrow of human civilization.

Derbyshire takes the book one step deeper into dangertown by fictionalizing some of algebra's evil history. It's not bad enough that he glorifies the many times algebra has led to the downfall of human civilizations, but by delving into the real and imaginary history, he gives algebra plenty of tricksy ideas.

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NASA's Lollygagging Messenger - Of DOOM!

Well, once again the boys at NASA are playing fire with fire, putting all of us at risk of total catastrophic annihilation.

Today, the U.S. spacing agency launched a new probe to Mercury, the innerest planet. MESSENGER, a half-ton orbiting science laboratory and ridiculously contrived acronym, is due to arrive in 2011.

I know what you're thinking. 2011? Mercury is only 60 million miles away - why will it take more than six years for MESSENGER to reach its destination?

The answer - because this probe is taking the scenic route. On its way to Mercury, MESSENGER will be on a long junket around the inner solar system, buzzing by Earth and Venus a few times before finally settling down around Mercury.

So we're annoying three planets with one mission. Fantastic!

And the worst of all is the fact that we've already been there and done that! Mercury was explored by Mariner 10 in 1975. The scienticians have already collected all the data they'd ever need to know, so this is just frivolous planetary picking-on!

Mark my words: the inner planets will not be happy about this, nor will they be pleased. I predict that we will begin to see more asteroids and other space rocks hurled in our direction once MESSENGER begins circling Mercury. Mark! My! Words!

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The End Of The World Is Nigher Than Ever!

I have recently been informed by some friends over at ZetaTalk that the Earth is headed for a cataclysmic world-as-we-know-it-ending pole shift!

This impending disaster is going to be caused by a hitherto-undetected 10th and/or 12th planet passing by our planet and upturning us with its gravity. North will become south, east will become west, day will become night, and dogs and cats will live together in a state of mass hysteria.

One has to wonder why this has been kept secret from us for so long. It is likely that the Astronomers and Astrologers have known about it for years but have withheld this information from the public so as not to cause a panic.

Well, who's panicking now, eh?

I'd like to tell you more about this impending catastropocalypse, but I have to prepare for it myself. So much to do! I have to stock up on perishables and fill up my gas tanks and kill my dog and get a can opener. There isn't enough time to panic!

Brave readers, I wish you all the best and thank you for your reading patronage over these years. We can only pray that by chance we will all survive the coming doom!

Doom!

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WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

Well, folks, as I predicted, the Y2K "Millennium Bug" is already wreaking havoc on the globe. Shoppers in the UK are just the first victims. Beginning at midnight on January 1, 2000, power stations will literally shut down, airplanes will literally fall out of the sky, and nuclear weapons will literally launch themselves when their onboard computers reset to 1900 and create a General Fault Alarm.

Trust me, I know this stuff. I worked for computers.

Luckily, I've prepared for this eventuality, having spent the better part of the 1990s stocking up on canned goods and Crystal Pepsi. I've also created my own seed bank so that I can re-start agriculture after the Y2Kpocalypse, fortified my property with twelve-foot-high cinderblock walls, and stocked up on sandbags to launch at marauding attackers with my homemade trebuchet.

I'm prepared. I've been listening to me. Hopefully some of you have been listening to me as well, and have taken similar precautions.

I'll try to continue posting after the Y2Kpocalypse, but I make no guarantees, as both the Internet and the global power grid will be literally on fire. So if this turns out to be my last post ever, I wish you all blessings and luck for the future, however bleak it turns out to be.

The Math Skeptic, signing off.

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Has Our President Been Replaced By A Pod-Clone?

Shocking News!

I read an absolutely SHOCKING story in yesterday's Toledo Blade. So shocking I had to put it down and come back to it today to ensure that I had not dreamt the entire episode.

This morning, the story was still there. Thus it is true. our President has changed the part of his hair.

Or so they would like us to think.

Gentlemen, we must be vigilant now more than ever. While this might be simply a case of a floundering President trying to change his look to better his reelection chances, it could also be a sign that our President has been replaced by a pod-clone.

Since "President Carter" ignored my earlier request to see his Certification of Live Birth, I have no choice but to issue it again, but more sternly:

Mr. President,

I sternly request that you make public your Certification of Live Birth! This is a matter of Planetary Security!

We must know the truth!

Sternly,
The Math Skeptic

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Nuclear War Is Imminent! Head For The Hills and/or Islands!

Readers!

I do not wish to alarm you but I have some alarming news. It has just come to my attention that a NUCLEAR WAR is about to break out!

Regular readers will know that I have been warning about this for some time. Those crafty Russkis have been planning for our annihilation since the beginning of the decade. First, the Soviets began disarming us with their "detentes" and their "Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaties" and their "Helsinki Accords." Then they began jamming our radios and/or controlling our minds with their Woodpecker Signals. And now that we're disarmed and mind-controlled - they will WAR some time before the end of this MONTH!

How do we know that war will happen this month? Because it is foretold in The Bible and/or the sizes of the Pyramids of Egypt, according to Melbournian business-man John Strong, author of The Doomsday Globe. Using a complex series of calculations, Strong discovered that the End of the World would come in October, 1978 - that's NOW!

Strong is so sure of his predictions that he and several dozen followers are currently waiting out the upcoming nuclear armageddon in a secure, bomb-proof ranch in New South Wales, Australia.

I am a bit conflicted about this prediction, I should say. On one hand, I am understandably skeptical about the calculation methods Strong used to arrive at his prediction, given the inherent instability of numbers. On the other hand, the prediction is partially based in The Bible, which is always correct.

Unfortunately, the whopping $575 fee for survival is a bit out of my price range at the moment, as is flying to Australia. So suffice it to say that I shall not be joining Mr. Strong in his ranch.

But not to worry - I am taking precautions here, converting my basement/laundry room into a bomb-proof shelter and stocking up on non-perishables. THE WIFE thinks I'm crazy, AS USUAL, but we will see who thinks who is crazy when she's dodging radioactive fallouts and I am secure in my basement shelter!

I urge all of you to prepare as necessary. If the Bible is correct, WAR IS COMING!

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Incoming Comet A Harbinger of Doom?

Greetings, fellow Math Skeptics! On today's B.L.O.G. entry, I have some frightening tidings to report. It seems the recently-discovered Comet Kohoutek is coming to destroy us all. My source? None other than God himself. Speaking through David Berg, founder of Children of God Ministries.

When a man of the cloth says the world is going to end, it usually comes true. So we have good reason to be cautious.

God was a bit unclear about the date of the impending apocalypse, unfortunately, so Berg isn't quite sure when The End is coming:

IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE 21st (OF SOME MONTH). It either begins on the 21st or it ends on the 21st. Of course it'll be at its brightest--between November 21 and January 21, and really from December 11 to January 21 is the main course. Either that or December 21.

The obvious take-away message is that we must beware of all dates numbered 21. Which is fine for me - I beware of all dates from 1-20 and 22-31 as well. The fact that we use numbers to denote our days is a clear sign that our society has fallen into depravity and evil as a society. Also, homosexualism.

But I do fear for those unsaved among you who have not-yet learned to distrust numbers as I. The poor numeralists out there continue unabated in their digit-using ways completely oblivious to the cometary ruin they bring upon society.

I implore all my readers to heed David Berg's multiple warnings, and repent from their numeralist ways. If we all preach the gospel if numberlessness, perhaps the Great Comet Kohoutek will decide to spare us.

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