While all of these are possible, I have an alternate theory. Camping's prediction was based on a very careful calculation of the accumulated ages of biblical figures, along with a rounding-down of the age of the Earth from 4.57 billion years to just over 6,000. What did Camping use to make this calculation? Numbers. Numerology. A study of the purported mystical relationship between numbers and life.
Since life proved to be correct by continuing to exist today, it is painfully obvious that numbers are wrong. This may be a harsh lesson for Camping's followers, who spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and in some cases destroyed their families over this prediction, but a lesson learned.
I still believe that the accused is innocent, despite being proven guilty. The California Superior Court, un-fortunately, has seen fit to see the case differently. Mr. Ward was fined $5,000 and sentenced to three years probation for the so-called "crime" of "pirating" a "comput-er program."
Although it is too late for Mr. Ward, this case should serve as a cautionary example for all young-folk aspiring to a career in comput-er science. If you are not care-ful, the numbers will corrupt your fragile young minds and turn you into man-servants for their evil ways!
Today, the environ-mentalists and nature-huggers and tree-hippies will celebrate a new made-up holiday Earth Day. The brain-child of California Senator Gaylord Nelson, this much-ballyhoo'ed manufacture-bration is intended to celebrate the Earth and encourage all of us to conserve and preserve our planet. Cities all around the world -- from New York to Philadelphia and everywhere in between -- will be shutting down so that scientists and conservationists and green-types can preach about the evils of our convenientalized technological era.
It is a silly idea, of course. Our Earth has been around for thousands and/or billions of years and will be here for thousands and/or billions more, whether we have a holiday for it or not. Even more infuriatingly, it's not even a real holiday, so I still had to come to work today! Thanks for nothing, hippies!
But that's not the worst part, of course. The plain fact is that this so-called "holiday" is a highly dangerous idea, for a number of reasons.
First of all, the so-called "teach-ins" that will be hosted across the country will likely be highly influential on the minds of the general public. Let's face it: most people out there (with the obvious exception of my regular readers, of course) are gullible meat-heads who will obey anything told to them by a so-called scientist wearing a short-sleeve shirt and a tie.
Secondly, the designation of Earth Day without corresponding holidays for the other bodies in our solar system will no doubt anger them. As we know from centuries of Astrology, planets have extremely fragile egos. If we anger them by singling out Earth for a holiday, they will undoubtedly punish us with bad luck in our financial situation and personal relationships, and may even send an asteroid or two our way out of sheer spite.
Finally, the dedication of a holiday to our planet may dangerously overinflate the Earth's ego. This could cause our Earth to swell with pride and accreted matter to gigantic proportions. Our comfortable terrestrial planet may turn into a gas giant, crushing all of us with its massive gravity and drowning us in liquid air.
As irony would have it, this Earth Day intended to save our planet may indeed be the thing that brings life as we know it to an end!
There have been a number of explanations for why Family Radio nonogenarian Harold Camping's Judgement Day prediction
did not come true, ranging from a last minute change of heart by Our Lord and Savior
to the fact that God doesn't exist and that all religions are merely societal constructs enabled by neurotransmitters in the brain. Camping himself has an alternate explanation - that Judgement Day happened, but was invisible.
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