Superstorm Sandy: Opening Shot of the Numeric Wars?

If you have been following the news as I have, you are no doubt aware that a catastrophical hurricane is on its way up the eastern seaboard right now. However, if you have been getting your news from the brain-dead LIE-beral media you probably don't know the true origins of this nefarious storm.

The meteorologists and climatologists and what-not would have you believe that this storm is simply a naturally-occurring phenomenon, what with air masses and ocean temperatures and water vapor combining naturally to create a tropical depression that then evolves purely by natural forces into a hurricane, fueled along the way by climate change.

To which I say BALDERWASH!

This storm is nothing less than a brutal attack on humanity by the numbers!

Think about it - the weather and the numbers have been conspiring ever since the dawn of meteorology. How do we measure temperature? Numbers. Barometric pressure? Numbers. Wind speed? Numbers. Precipitation? Numbers. We even use numbers to denote the strength of hurricanes.

Given the close personal relationship between the weather and the numbers, it should come as no surprise that the numbers have now begun to control the weather!

It's so obvious, people!

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Another Proverbial Nail in the Proverbial Coffin of Climate Change

This morning, at exactly 12:30 am Eastern Standard Time, the worldwide "Climate Change" hoax came to a crashing halt.

Why? Because winter came. Again.

Despite the naysayers and alarmists and Al Gores of the world predicting the end of winter due to Global Warming, the winter solstice has yet again arrived on schedule.

The only possible conclusion we can draw from this is the obvious conclusion - so-called "climate change" is merely a hoax concocted by modern-day luddites to send us all back to the pre-technological era and turn the world into a steampunk utopia.

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One More For The Burn-Pile!

Sometimes, I have to hand it to the National Center for Science Indoctrination. They are always helpful at pointing out what not to read, and their most recent book preview is no exception.

Merchants of Doubt is the latest load of liberal-leaning, number-sympathizing, pro-science clap-trap to be pressed onto paper in order to serve the climate change alarmosphere. Naomi Oreskes and Erik M. M. Conway's ridiculously unsupported conspiracy theory, which they support with numerous published articles and journal citations, is that a handful of industry-supported scientists exploited the American propensity for journalistic fairness in order to inject unreasonable doubt into the overwhelming scientific consensus that human activity is largely causing a worldwide average temperature anomaly leading to an overall change in the Earth's climate.

What a ridiculous notion!

Authors Oreskes and Conway make their anti-freedom stance abundantly clear in the following excerpt from NCSE's excerpt:

In an active scientific debate, there can be many sides. But once a scientific issue is closed, there's only one "side." Imagine providing "balance" to the issue of whether the Earth orbits the Sun, whether continents move, or whether DNA carries genetic information. These matters were long ago settled in scientists' minds. Nobody can publish an article in a scientific journal claiming the Sun orbits the Earth, and for the same reason, you can't publish an article in a peer-reviewed journal claiming there's no global warming.

First of all, the question of whether the Earth orbits the Sun is FAR from closed. There are still a small fringe of astrologer-backed Catholics who believe the heliocentric model to be false, thus it is not settled science. If it were truly settled, why are people still debating it? Riddle me THAT, authors!

Secondly, I just don't trust anyone who spells Eric with a K. The name "Erik" is code for "Viking umlaut merchant trying to infiltrate American values with socialism and Europeanness." Don't be fooled!

So that's why I'm urging you to buy this book - and burn it! Better yet, buy two copies to burn. It's the only thing that will prevent the umlaut invasion.

Science: Chemtrails Might Be Bad For the "Environment"

Sometimes, science gives us wonderful things. The computer, the atom bomb, penicillin, and ranch dressing are just a few of its many wonderful achievements. At other times, however, science sticks its nose in places where it doesn't belong, putting our planet in extreme jeopardy.

A study by some rogue Oberpfaffenhofans in the June 2001 Geophysical Research Letters is an example of the latter. This study claims that the aluminum-barium chemtrails left in the air by Air Force sprayer planes are allegedly contributing to the alleged warming of the alleged climate.

First of all, as longtime readers of this blog already know, I find the science of the climate and climate change highly dubious. The entire idea that the random and chaotic nature of weather events is somehow controlled by an invisible force known as the "climate" is simply ridiculous. The notion that this invisible hand of climate can then be modified by human activity is thus beyond all reason. And the scientific "proof" is sorely lacking. I mean, computer models? Please. Unless scientists construct an identical Control Earth WITHOUT an Industrial Revolution and observe it for 4.57 billion years, I'm just not buying it.

The part of this story being left out by the lamestream media, of course, is how vulnerable we would be to alien invasion if these scientists are taken seriously. As you know from reading this blog, those aluminum-barium chemtrails are the only thing protecting us from invasion by the dreaded Manthour of Tau Ceti, as their bioengineered spacecraft are allergic to aluminum and barium. If the chemtrails stop, we will be invaded and enslaved.

Maybe Dr. Voight et al. think the spice mines of Tau Ceti c are a nice alternative to the day-to-day boredom of Oberpfaffenhofen. I, sir, do not.

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The Mauna Kea "Mystery" Flash Explained

The Internet is literally ablaze with speculation over the source of the mystery flash that was captured by a surveillance camera over Hawai'i's Mauna Kea observatory in March of this year.

The mysterious mystery flash left the observatory's astronomers so flummoxed that they forgot how to spell "astronomer":

My name is Ichi Tanaka, a Support Astrnomer of Subuaru Telescope, Hawaii. On the early morning of 22 March we, Subaru Telescope observers on the summit of Mauna Kea, noticed that there is a huge halo of light above the eastern horizon. It was slowly expanding to over 45 degrees in 5 minutes or more.
...
We have absolutely no idea about the nature of this. It appears that the event happened not on the Summit area, but much farther away, according to the comparison of the two videos. This means that the size of the light halo is quite large.

A range of plausible explanations have been offered for this phenomenon, from the fantastical suggestion that the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program somehow caused it, to the bland and pedestrian suggestion that this was caused by venting fuel from the third stage of an ICBM test launch from Vandenberg Air Force Base.

Two ridiculous explanations, to be sure, but certainly explanations.

We who are wise and understand the true workings of the world and/or universe already know just what's happening here. The fact that this phenomenon was aimed at Mauna Kea observatory should be a dead giveaway that this was yet another attack in the re-escalating war between the Astrologers and the Astronomers. Note that this attack happened just a few months after the Astronomers attempted to declare an unlucky 13th Zodiac sign, an act clearly within the domain of the Astronomers.

Coincidence? Pah! There is no such thing.

Sorry, Astronomers, but you brought this on yourselves. Hate to say "I told you so," but I did.

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More Global Warming Mathemagic from NOAA

Well, the folks at NOAA (which is apparently short for Not Opposed to Arithmetical Ambiguity) have released yet another load of so-called "statistics" on the so-called "temperature anomaly" for the month of March, 2009. And, as predicted, the document presents numerous unfounded accusations about the state of the world's temperature. The global average land and sea temperature, according to NOAA, was 55.84 degrees Fahrenheit, a so-called anomaly of .94 degrees above the 20th century mean of 54.9 degrees.

Oh, really? According to whose math? NOAA's? Are we to just take their conclusions at face value, knowing full well that NOAA and NASA and the IRS and all those other government agencies are part of The Global Numerological Conspiracy?

I challenge NOAA to prove it. PROVE to us, the American taxpayers, that 55.84 is a HIGHER number than 54.9. PROVE it, NOAA! Show your work! Or do high-level governmentocospirator mathemagicians somehow get a pass when it comes to PROOF?

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What Happened To That Global Warming?

What the--

It's winter?!?

How is that POSSIBLE?

Al Gore told me that we were having Global Warming! That means we can NEVER HAVE WINTER AGAIN!

The fact that today's winter solstice happened right on schedule is CONCRETE PROOF that global warming is a myth designed to keep those multimillionaire scientists in the lap of luxury, drinking Courvoisier and smoking fancy cigars rolled from carbon credits!

Of course, I can't fully blame the scientists. They were relying on numbers to make their climate predictions, and as we know all numbers are false.

Maybe the embarrassment they're feeling today, knowing that their Global Warming predictions went so utterly wrong, will get them to give up their silly reliance on numbers.

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Scientist Warns of "Global Warming." Could It Be a Hoax?

Would you believe that your car, television, radio, and nuclear power plant are all melting the polar ice caps?

Neither do I. But that's just what Dr. J. Murray Mitchell Jr. wants you to believe. In a presentation to the American Geophysical Union this week, Dr. J. will present his ludicrous hypothesis - that our modern air pollution is actually warming the globe!

The idea is preposterous, of course. We puny humans are just one species, and not even the largest one on Earth. The three billion of us are far outnumbered by birds, flies, trees, and even bacteria, so our impact on the "environment" is negligible at best.

Furthermore, this hypothesis will give people the ridiculous impression that air pollution is some-how a bad thing! Can you imagine?

Air pollution is nothing less than a symbol of our success as a species. The smog filling our urban skies is a visual, olfactory, gustatory, and respiratory representation of our technological prowess. It is something to be proud of - not lambasted by errant geophysical unionists!

Mark my words - this so-called "global warming" idea is nothing more than a hoax, certain to be forgotten in a few weeks.

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