NASA Complies With Mad Astronomer Elenin's Demands

As you may recall, last month, Russian Astronomer and certified madman Leonid Elenin was threatening to transform his recently-"discovered" comet, C/2010 X1 (Elenin), into a super-sized brown dwarf that would disrupt the orbits of all the solar system's planets unless the U.S. space agency NASA complied with his unspecified demands.

Under the relentless pressure, NASA has now caved in, and will observe Professor Elenin's "comet" using their orbiting space coronagraphs.

As we all know from Astrology, observing a celestial object only gives it more power, which effectively makes C/2010 X1 (Elenin) an unstoppable planet-killing machine. With this new power, there's no end to what the mad astronomer and his henchman Trent Reznor could do.

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Mad Astronomer Elenin Threatens Global Annihilation!

In a chilling posting on his blog, the Russian Astronomer/Supervillain Leonid Elenin is threatening to transform his "comet" C/2010 X1 (Elenin) from a small chunk of rock and ice hurtling toward us at tens of thousands of miles an hour into a Jupiter-sized brown dwarf.

A terrifying video posted on the blog shows exactly what will happen to our if his demands are not met, and the consequences are grave indeed. Starting with Saturn, the new super-sized Elenin will perturb the orbits of all the planets in the solar system, putting our Earth on a collision course with Jupiter and wiping out all life on our fair planet. As the name ELE-NIN suggests, this would truly be an Extinction Level Event, with a soundtrack provided by Nine Inch Nails.

There are a few frightening details about this story, besides the whole impending doom thing.

First, the Mad Astronomer has yet to publicly issue his demands, so we do not yet know how to comply in order to save our planet.

Second, we do not know how an Astronomer has acquired the power to control the motion of celestial objects, a power normally reserved for Astrologers.

The only logical conclusion is that Leonid Elenin is some sort of combined Astrologer/Astronomer, which would give him celestial abilities beyond all human comprehension. Together with his henchman/sidekick Trent Reznor, global domination and/or destruction may indeed be at hand this October.

Be. Very. Afraid.

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