Wednesday, November 05, 2008


And it's not cause he's black, ok?

Let's just get that straight.

It's cause he's probably an android alien pod-clone programmed to destroy the global economy and send the world into conflict and chaos while simultaneously weakening our defense forces and promoting homosexualism to make it easier for the aliens to invade.

NOT because he's black.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Update: Ohio Creationism Teacher Assassinated!

...character-wise, that is.

This just in! Embattered Ohio science teacher John Freshwater has been fired from his teaching job as a science teacher in Ohio. All for the so-called wrong-doing of teaching alternative science such as Creationism and Intelligent Design in his science classroom, as we reported last week on this very blog.

A tragesty of justice indeed!

Fear not, Dr. Freshwater! The Math Skeptic stands behind you in your appeals - both to ignorance and the Ohio School Board - and I hope that you will be back in the classroom soon, preaching the alternative truth and burning crosses into students' forearms, as any good science teacher should! This is not merely about science, it is about freedom.

Me, I choose FREEDOM!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Ohio Teacher Under Attack For Teaching Alternative Science

Breaking News!

This shocking news just crossed my desk, and needless to say I was shocked - SHOCKED - by this shocking news!

John Freshwater, a mild-mannered and completely innocent Ohio middle school teacher, has been sued by parents of one of his students for the alleged crime of teaching perfectly valid alternative science to his eighth-grade students.

Among the allegedly "objectionable" alternative science lessons taught by Freshwater were Creationism, Intelligent Design, the Inherent Faultiness of Evolution, and How To Burn Crosses In Your Arm With a Van de Graaff Generator. The anti-freedom plaintiffs in the lawsuit are suing both Freshwater and the Ohio school district, and are attempting to use the power of activist judgmanship to get the poor innocent teacher fired.

This is an outrage!

This entire case is nothing more than premeditated character assassination by the evolutionists, persecuting a poor embattered teacher for teaching perfectly valid science topics. Creationism and Intelligent Design are widely-recognized scientific-like theories backed by mountains of hypothetical evidence. And burning a cross on a student's arm with a Van de Graaff generator teaches an important lesson in not sticking your arm in a Van de Graaff generator.

If this outrageous case goes to trial, it will be the Scopes Monkey Trial of the 21st Century. Only this time it is the monkeys who are doing the prosecuting.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Manthourian Candidate

Rumors have been flying around the Internet lately about Presidential candidate Barack H. Obama's birthplace. Some folks believe he was born in Kenya, others believe he was born in Hawai'i, and still others think he was born here in the United States. These so-called "birthers" mean well, but are making a very dangerous assumption - that the presumptive Democratic nominee was born at all.

The Math Skeptic demands a higher standard of proof. The threat of alien invasion is ever-present, and I need to know that all of our candidates for high office are indeed human beings and not pod-cloned cybernetic humanoid drones here to pave the way for invasion by the dreaded Manthour of Tau Ceti b.

As we know, the Manthour have been eager to retaliate against us since Fred Haise and Jim Lovell destroyed their secret moon base during the Apollo 13 mission. So far, we have been keeping their ships at bay with our protective chemtrail grids and the giant space laser aboard the International Space Station. If the Manthour were to install humanoid drones at the highest levels of government, as they already have in Ohio, these protections could be disabled and our dear planet left vulnerable to invasion.

This is nothing new for the Math Skeptic, of course. I have demanded to see proof of live birth for every presidential candidate since Gerald Ford. And every election cycle, my demands have been ignored. Until now.

Until now.

Candidate Obama has publically released his certification of live birth, immediately arousing my suspicion. Why is this candidate so eager to prove that he's a live-born human? What's he hiding? This sounds exactly like what a pod-cloned cybernetic humanoid drone would do if he were trying to prove that he was NOT a pod-cloned cybernetic humanoid drone.

To be clear - I'm not saying that Barack H. Obama is definitely a pre-invasion scout infiltrating the highest office of the land in order to weaken our defenses and send planetary secrets to the Manthourian Invasion Fleet hiding at the L2 Lagrangian point behind Jupiter. Not at all. That would be a baseless accusation.

I'm just asking questions here.