Wednesday, July 28, 1971

My Prediction Was Correct - Again!

The only thing worse and/or better than being right about one earthquake prediction is to be right about two earthquake predictions. And today I am happy and/or sad to report that I was indeed correct in my prediction of a pair of earthquakes in the Solomon Islands. The first of the predicted earthquakes struck on July 14.

Today, exactly two weeks later, the second predicted earthquake has struck the Solomon Islands.

Though it is perhaps premature to grant myself hero status, I will go out on a limb and boast that my earthquake and tsunami warning saved thousands - perhaps even hundreds - of lives.

If a monetary reward from the Solomonican government is in order, I will gladly accept. But I do this first and foremost to save lives as a gesture of goodwill to all men - even the exotic fruit-hatted ones of the Pacific Islands.

Wednesday, July 14, 1971

My Prediction Was Correct!

I am simultaneously proud and saddened to report that my earthquake prediction of two days ago was correct!

An earthquake measuring 8.1 on the Richter Scale was reported near the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific. As there are no reports of loss of life, I can only assume that the Solomonese heeded my B.L.O.G. warning and took cover at high ground.

Countless lives have been saved - thanks in no small part to me and my dream about twins riding a guinea pig.

However - I must issue a warning for continued vigilance. To date, only one earthquake has struck. My dream specifically depicted a pair of twins, implying that there will be twin earthquakes

Stay strong, Solomonicians! The earth-quaking is not yet complete!

Monday, July 12, 1971

Earthquake Warning: Solomon Islands!


I had the most bizarre dream to-night!

Details of the dream are sketchy, as dreams are wont to be. However, I shall try to recall as many details as I can, as the dream seemed fortuitously prophetic!

As I recall, the dream began with a pair of young twins were riding a guinea pig - or maybe a canoe - along a beach. It was definitely some sort of guinea pig/canoe hybrid.


A bottle washed up on the beach, and one of the twins opened it. Suddenly, First Chancellor of the Republic of Germany Otto von Bismarck leapt from the bottom and grew to gartantuan size, jumping up and down on the beach and thundering the ground into giant waves. GIANT WAVES!

I awoke in a fitful sweat and attempted to piece together the details - the twins, the beach, the guinea pig, Birmarck. Then it hit me - it was an earthquake prophecy!

Hereby I predict that not one but a PAIR of earthquakes will strike in the coming weeks. They will be centered near Papua New Guinea in the Solomon Islands, which is situated along the Bismarck Plate!

So if any Solomonians happen to be on D.A.R.P.A.-net right now, I urge you to print out this warning, make as many mimeographs as you can, and urge your authorities and friends to take cover on high ground. Multiple earthquakes and tsunamis are headed your way