Wednesday, October 15, 1997

NASA Putting Us All In Danger!

Once again, those braniac poindexters at NASA are playing fast-and-loose with the solar system, sending yet another probe to annoy one of our planetary neighbors.

The Cassini-Huygens probe, named for two 17th-Century casualties of the Astronomy-Astrology War, is scheduled to launch today en route to Saturn, the ringy majestic gas giant in our outer solar system.

However, instead of just flying by like probes of old, Cassini is going to stick around the ringed planet, circling her and her moons for years in the name of "scientific science."

How thoroughly irresponsible! This is going to do nothing but irritate and antagonize our Saturnian neighbor, potentially turning all of the gas giants against us. It's bad enough we're bugging Jupiter with the Galileo probe, but this is just too much.

And, of course, the typical science-indoctrinated liberals are protesting this probe for all the wrong reasons. You think a little atmospheric plutonium is bad? Wait till Saturn gives us a dose of asteroids and minor moons!

You're playing with fire, NASA. Take heed!