Thursday, April 16, 1970

Is Apollo 13 Being Faked?

Unless you've been living either under a rock or in Rhodesia for the past week, you've heard about the unfolding events aboard Apollo 13. The news reports from NASA have certainly been nail-biting, and The Math Skeptic wishes astronauts Lovell, Haise, and Swigert a safe return.

That said, I don't buy it.

As a skeptic, I'm not convinced.

Mind you - I'm not one of these people who says that the moon landings of Apollo 11 and 12 were faked by NASA in a soundstage. Not at all. That's just silly. The evidence that the moon landings happened is overwhelming.

It's this landing that didn't happen that has me suspicious. And I believe the numbers are involved. There are just too many coincidences - Apollo 13, launching at 13:13, having an onboard explosion in the Service Module on April 13th. This, to me, looks like yet another case of the powerful triskaidekaphobia lobby trying to generate publicity for their so-called "unlucky number."

No, it all seems too convenient. According to a dream I had last last night, the landing happened as planned on April 14, and the astronauts accomplished their primary objective - blowing up an alien moon base that threatened the Earth. Also in my dream was Opie from The Andy Griffith Show, for some unexplained reason.

Sounds crazy, does it? Not when you consider that something WAS blown up on the moon, and recorded by Apollo 12 seismometers. NASA claims it was just the spent S-IVB impacting the lunar surface as planned, but I don't buy it. It makes much more sense that military men Lovell and Haise were doing their patriotic duty and protecting us from invasion by colonists from Tau Ceti, and NASA faked the oxygen tank explosion and the crew's harrowing journey using the LEM as a lifeboat is simply a cover story. Plus, it's the kind of feel-good story that generates interest in the Apollo program, which has been waning since we beat the Soviets.

Besides - believing that an American-made spacecraft malfunctioned and put our brave astronauts in danger is simply impatriotic. This is America! If we can put a man on the moon, surely we can put another man on the moon!

And that's why I believe the accident aboard Apollo 13 is a FAKE!

That said - I wish our astronauts a safe return tomorrow. Thank you for protecting us from the Tau Ceti invaders!

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