And gloat they did, proverbially patting themselves on their proverbial backs in celebration of the board's proverbial trouncing of science supplements that dared question the scientifico-governmentile conspiracy pushing the "Allele Change Consensus" into the innocent minds of Texan youths.
Today, however, I am happy to see that cosmic retribution is in order:
Tropical Storm Don is headed for the Texas coast, packing 45 mile-an-hour winds, 2 foot storm surges, and is preparing to drop up to 7 inches of rain on the wayward state, an obvious punishment for their educationary transgression.
Now I know what you're thinking. "I thought hurricanes were caused by homosexualism and/or Comet Elenin, not evolutionism, The Math Skeptic." To which I reply that you thought wrong.
However, I can understand your confusion. There are a lot of human and celestial causes of natural disaster activity here on Earth, and it can be very confusing trying to keep up with them all. Thusly, I have put together the following handy reference table to assist your understanding of the factors causing death and destruction:
|Disaster||Human Cause||Celestial Influence|
|Tornado||Germ Theoryism||Comet Hyakutake|
|Financial collapse||Deregulationism||Pluto-Charon barycenter|
|Flood||General disobedience||3753 Cruithne|
This should clear up any confusion you may have had. If you are engaging in any of the above transgressions, I shall hold you personally responsible for any disaster that befalls you.