Monday, October 17, 2011

Indeniable Proof Of The Biologico-Scientifical Conspiracy!

A top-secret manifesto leaked to the Internet offers concrete, undisputable proof of the nationwide governmento-scientific cabal conspiring to force evolution education on the innocent schoolchildren of our nation. Created by the secretive and shadowy biologico-educational elites at the National Association of Biology Teachers, this so-called "memo" outlines the so-called "importance" of so-called "reaffirming" the so-called "teaching" of so-called "evolution" as part of the so-called "biology curriculum."

No doubt drafted in the secure and undisclosed catacombs of the NABT's elusive Allelo-Cave complex, the memo is quite clear in its support of well-studied and experimentally-demonstrated "explanations for the diversity of all life" such as common ancestry, natural selection, mutation, and genetic drift, leaving no room in the curriculospace for alternativistic views on the origin of life.

This nationwide cabal of biologicians makes their anti-alternatism stance abundantly clear in the top-secret memo, which was disseminated around the Darwinsphere after its disclosure:
Evolutionary biology rests on the same scientific methodologies the rest of science uses, appealing only to natural events and processes to describe and explain phenomena in the natural world. Science teachers must reject calls to account for the diversity of life or describe the mechanisms of evolution by invoking non-naturalistic or supernatural notions, whether called “creation science,” “scientific creationism,” “intelligent design theory,” or similar designations. Ideas such as these are outside the scope of science and should not be presented as part of the science curriculum.
There you have it, folks. Concrete proof of the nationwide and therefore worldwide conspiracy to prevent the teaching of alternativistic and unproven hypotheses in science classrooms, in blatant violation of the principles of free speech and free expression we hold so dear.

True, the NABT may be standing on the side of the debate with all the evidence, but they're also standing on the side of not-freedom, which is a far more provocative buzzword. Which demonstrates exactly why we alternativists should not give up hope.

We will prevail in time, my friends. Because FREEDOM!

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