According to a shocking top-secret report by the bipartisan Bipartisan Policy Center, which was leaked to the media during a press conference today, a bipartisan panel of bipartisan scientists has recommended that the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy begin investing in climate remediation, nee geo-engineering research as an approach to combating climate change.
However, I do not believe that this mythical "climate" creature exists, as all weather is governed by random, stochastic, and unpredictable forces that cannot be predicted. Thus it is simply impossible for this so-called "climate" to so-called "change."
That said, the veritable task force juggernaut that authored this top-secret report did nevertheless make some good points, with which The Math Skeptic is in complete agreement. Namely, that the use of chemtrail cloud enhancement may yield a climatiary benefit in addition to their primary use - preventing invasion by Manthourian scout ships from Tau Ceti c. As you should already know, the United States and other right-thinking governments have been lacing our upper atmosphere with a fine aluminum-barium mist since the 1970s in order to repel their bioengineered spacecraft. These heroic chemtrails are, in fact, the only thing standing between us and a lifetime of slave labor in one of Tau Ceti c's hideous spice mines.
If the White House officials - and other members of our nation's guild of policy wonksmanship - take this report seriously, it could mean a significant boost for the chemgrid program. This is good, since the chemtrail program is always in danger of being cut if Congress starts listening to some of the chemtrail opponents and assorted niggling naysayers out there.
I call on all my readers and all fellow Math Skeptics to help spread the word: We Support Chemtrails! Keep Gridding the Skies!