Friday, November 30, 2012

Babies Teaching Babies?! What Is This World Coming To!

If you've ever had any doubts about the depths to which the numbers have invaded and pervaded our culture and society, look no further than this shocking article I am writing at this very moment.

Our schools have become so entranced by arithmetofascism that they have now begun using students to indoctrinate their fellow students with mathematical propaganda. Under the innocent-sounding guise of "peer education," school systems are obeying their numerist masters by proxy, turning innocent older children into math missionaries spreading the gospel of arithmetic to even innocenter younger children.

This insidous outrage was recently exposed by some investigative reporting by a local news station in Butler County, Missouri. KFVS-12 News gathered this shocking story - I can only assume - by enrolling one of their undercover reporters into an elementary school in Poplar Bluff, Missouri disguised as a first grader. What this courageous - and I presume short-statured - reporter uncovered during the investigation was nothing less than shocking:

Earlier this school year, Eugene Field Elementary School fourth grader Maraleigh Buss entered Kelli Spitze's first grade classroom and asked the teacher whether her students did their math homework.
Maraleigh is among over a dozen fourth grade teaching assistants who have volunteered to give up their special class periods—art, gym, library and music—to tutor first and second grade math students who may require some extra attention, according to school officials.
"She gets kids engaged right from the get-go," said Spitze, who began utilizing teaching assistants in her classroom last school year. "Sometimes children learn from their older peers much quicker. They are just more ready to be open-minded in that setting."
Using children to recruit other children using propaganda and indoctrination. Hmmm. Where have I heard that before?

An extreme comparison? Perhaps - but only if you consider the slippery slope to be a logical fallacy. As far as I'm concerned, children tutoring each other in math is just one sloping slip away from uniformed young thugs recruiting other kids to serve in the Math-ler Youth.

It's times like this that I'm almost glad the world is going to end in four weeks. Because a world in which babies are indoctrinating babies with arithmetical propaganda is not one I wish to continue.

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