Wednesday, December 12, 2012

NASA Confirms Apocalyptic Predictions

A new video leaked by the NASA public affairs office confirms what I and other conspiracy theorists have been speculating for years: the world is indeed going to end on December 21st.

Though the video, titled "Why the World Didn't End Yesterday," was obviously intended to calm public fears about the December 21 apocalypse, it is having much the opposite effect.


Because it is dated December 22nd.

There can be only one logical explanation for why -- on December 12th -- we are seeing a video released on December 22nd: The cataclysmic events of December 21 (will have) caused the video to (have) become unstuck in time and (have) fall(en) back to the present day through a wormhole in the space-time continuum.

This scenario is (will have been) absolutely terrifying. Evidently, we are evidently (having been) headed for a chronology-altering timequake of historic proportions.

The implications are staggering - and not just for proper tensing of verbs. If my hypothesis is true - which it is - it means that objects and events and people from ten days in the future are here now, and have also (having) been thrust into the distant past. The so-called "prophets" of the past few millennia were probably us after we were (to be (having been)) unstuck. It then logically follows that the apocalyptic December 2012 "predictions" were actually post-dictions by the chronologically-displaced.

If you (will) have ever needed an excuse to panic, you (will) have (had) one NOW!

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