Astrologers Seek to Assassinate Galileo - Again!

The recent upsurge in violence between the Astrologers and Astronomers is reaching a fever pitch these days, putting the Oxford Agreement in dire jeopardy.

As we know, the Astronomers attacked first by attempting to declare the constellation Ophiuchus a 13th Zodiac sign. The Astrologers then retaliated with several "near-miss" asteroid encounters and the brutal attack on the Mauna Kea astronomical observatory.

Now, allied with a splinter faction of the Catholic Church, the Astrologers are threatening to overturn heliocentrism:

"Heliocentrism becomes 'dangerous' if it is being propped up as the true system when, in fact, it is a false system," said Robert Sungenis, leader of a budding movement to get scientists to reconsider. "False information leads to false ideas, and false ideas lead to illicit and immoral actions — thus the state of the world today. … Prior to Galileo, the church was in full command of the world; and governments and academia were subservient to her."

I must say, I'm a bit torn by this development. On one hand, I wholeheartedly support academic freedom and the need to teach the controversy between the geocentric Infinite Turtle Theory and the scientifico-governmental-complex-mandated "consensus" of heliocentrism.

On the other hand, I'd hate to see a return to the all-out warfare of the 17th and 18th centuries. Astrologers and astronomers are far more plentiful now, for one thing, and the astronomers are armed with all manner of orbiting space weaponry. The collateral damage from an escalation of conflict could be catastrophic.

---