Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Great Guilderland Numerismical Catastrophe

Shocking things are afoot in Guilderland, New York, where the numbers have brutally attacked more than 500 innocent high school students with erroneous scoring errors on their Regents exams. These so-called "calculation errors" resulted in student scores deviating by as many as three points from their actual grades.

And, as usual, the lame-stream media and the governmento-numerialist conspiracy were quick to jump on the "human error" bandwagon.
"After a thorough review, it was determined that the discrepancies were caused by human error," said [Superintendent of Schools Dr. Marie] Wiles [who is obviously deep in the pockets of Big Number].

"The discrepancies on the June Regents resulted in students earning both higher and lower grades than initially reported," she added [while sipping Courvoisier from a diamond-encrusted brandy snifter obviously "donated" to her by the numerist lobby].
"There is absolutely no pattern or information to indicate that anything other than human error occurred," [species traitor] Wiles added.
Something is obviously rotten in Guilderland, and one can only speculate as to how many previous generations of Guilderlandians had their Regents exams, their high school careers, indeed their very lives ruined by the brutal ignominations of the out-of-control numbers in upstate New York.

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