C/2010 X1 (Elenin), a decommissioned Soviet-era space weapon hijacked by Mad Astronomer Elenin in December of last year and erroneously dubbed a "comet" by the lame-stream media, has caused a rain of terror on our planet over the past several years, zapping us with its earthquake-causing Tesla coil. Unbeknownest to us, we have been living under a shroud of terror for many years, doomed to continue experiencing earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and other natural-type disasters until Leonid Elenin's hitherto unspecified demands were met.
As of today, the shroud of terror has lifted. The C/2010 X1 (Elenin) weapon of mass destruction has been destroyed. There will be no more earthquakes.
The time has come... to celebrate our victory!
USA NUMBER ONE!
USA! NUMBER ONE!