Jupiter Fires a Warning Shot At Us

As you may have heard from the various media reports today, our planet was buzzed by a city-block sized asteroid today. The Earth-threatening asteroid 2005 YU55 passed a mere 201,000 miles from our planet, traveling at a mind-boggling 29,000 miles per hour. Were a rock this size to impact our planet, it would undoubtedly unleash a wave of destruction of Michael Bay special effect proportions.

While the global astronomical elites are happily patting themselves on their collective backs for "discovering" this asteroid far in advance of its close encounter with our planetary home, they are missing the big picture of the story.

It is obviously obvious that this asteroidal close call was nothing less than a warning shot by one of our solar system's gas giants. No doubt in retaliation for the various space-probes and robotical explorers we continue to use to annoy and antagonize them. The fact that 2005 YU55 did not strike us is no doubt due to skillful negotiation by the astrologers.

Thank you, astrologers, for once again saving us from hubris!

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