Bernie Madoff: Just Another Alternative-Math Martyr

In just the latest example of the mathemagic-government conspiracy against alternative calculation beliefs, Bernard Madoff is now being sued for "fraud." And as usual, the liberal media has bought the math-lobby's cover story hook, line, and sinker.

This latest salvo against the math skeptic community has been launched by a group of so-called "victims" of Madoff's so-called "Ponzi scheme" who claim to have "lost" about 7 billion so-called "dollars." Yes, perhaps that's how it looks to the pencil-pushing accountants who willingly submit to the "consensus" math hegemony, but to we alternative-math believers Madoff's investment was a stellar success.

His "victims" profited handsomely in alternative-math terms, and the lawsuit being brought against Madoff by this sorry bunch of ingrates shows how deeply-entrenched the math conspiracy goes. Shame on you, Fairfield Greenwich! Shame on you for persecuting those who refuse to submit to "consensus" calculation.

FREE BERNIE MADOFF!

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EARTHQUAKE ALERT: ITALY

So I've been looking over some astronomicals here and encountered some shocking news. The to-be-discovered comet/possible orbiting space weapon C/2010 X1 (Elenin) is going to kinda sorta align with the red planet Mars tomorrow.

Mars, which is already angered by the robotic rovers trespassing on her ruddy red surface, is probably going to be so angered by this new transgression that it will throw an earthquake at us, with devastating results.

I know you're all questioning the same question: where is the earthquake going to hit?

My astrologer sources point to the small town of L'Aquila, in central Italy. Now I know what you're saying: science can't predict earthquakes. And you're right - it can't. But pseudoscience can. And I'm not the only pseudoscientist predicting this earthquake. Italian seismologer Giampaolo Giuliani predicted earlier this week that an earthquake of earth-shaking proportions would befall L'Aquila tomorrow, using his patented radon-detection techniques. Techniques, I should add, that have been summarily dismissed by lame-stream science for the ridiculous reason that they haven't been proven to work.

Are our predictions correct? Only time will tell. But I'm pretty sure this isn't a drill - it's the real deal.

You've been warned, town of L'Aquila, Italy! Take heed/precautions!

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Congress Caves In to the Numerist Agenda!

For more than 20 years now, the mathematicians and scienticians and assorted geeks in the nerd-o-sphere have been celebrating an unofficial secular sacrilegious holiday known as Pi Day every March 14th.

That is, it was unofficial until now. After what I can only assume was an elephantesimal lobbying effort by Big Arithmetic, Congress has gone and officially designated today as Pi Day for 2009.

This non-binding resolution just shows how pervasive the reach of the global scientifico-numeric cabal is in our government and society. As if it's not bad enough that we already celebrate a holiday named for a number on July 4th, but now we have to celebrate a holiday for an irrational number on March 14th.

Shame on you, Congress!

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WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!!!!

And it's not cause he's black, ok?

Let's just get that straight.

It's cause he's probably an android alien pod-clone programmed to destroy the global economy and send the world into conflict and chaos while simultaneously weakening our defense forces and promoting homosexualism to make it easier for the aliens to invade.

NOT because he's black.

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Update: Ohio Creationism Teacher Assassinated!

...character-wise, that is.

This just in! Embattered Ohio science teacher John Freshwater has been fired from his teaching job as a science teacher in Ohio. All for the so-called wrong-doing of teaching alternative science such as Creationism and Intelligent Design in his science classroom, as we reported last week on this very blog.

A tragesty of justice indeed!

Fear not, Dr. Freshwater! The Math Skeptic stands behind you in your appeals - both to ignorance and the Ohio School Board - and I hope that you will be back in the classroom soon, preaching the alternative truth and burning crosses into students' forearms, as any good science teacher should! This is not merely about science, it is about freedom.

Me, I choose FREEDOM!

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Ohio Teacher Under Attack For Teaching Alternative Science

Breaking News!

This shocking news just crossed my desk, and needless to say I was shocked - SHOCKED - by this shocking news!

John Freshwater, a mild-mannered and completely innocent Ohio middle school teacher, has been sued by parents of one of his students for the alleged crime of teaching perfectly valid alternative science to his eighth-grade students.

Among the allegedly "objectionable" alternative science lessons taught by Freshwater were Creationism, Intelligent Design, the Inherent Faultiness of Evolution, and How To Burn Crosses In Your Arm With a Van de Graaff Generator. The anti-freedom plaintiffs in the lawsuit are suing both Freshwater and the Ohio school district, and are attempting to use the power of activist judgmanship to get the poor innocent teacher fired.

This is an outrage!

This entire case is nothing more than premeditated character assassination by the evolutionists, persecuting a poor embattered teacher for teaching perfectly valid science topics. Creationism and Intelligent Design are widely-recognized scientific-like theories backed by mountains of hypothetical evidence. And burning a cross on a student's arm with a Van de Graaff generator teaches an important lesson in not sticking your arm in a Van de Graaff generator.

If this outrageous case goes to trial, it will be the Scopes Monkey Trial of the 21st Century. Only this time it is the monkeys who are doing the prosecuting.

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The Manthourian Candidate

Rumors have been flying around the Internet lately about Presidential candidate Barack H. Obama's birthplace. Some folks believe he was born in Kenya, others believe he was born in Hawai'i, and still others think he was born here in the United States. These so-called "birthers" mean well, but are making a very dangerous assumption - that the presumptive Democratic nominee was born at all.

The Math Skeptic demands a higher standard of proof. The threat of alien invasion is ever-present, and I need to know that all of our candidates for high office are indeed human beings and not pod-cloned cybernetic humanoid drones here to pave the way for invasion by the dreaded Manthour of Tau Ceti b.

As we know, the Manthour have been eager to retaliate against us since Fred Haise and Jim Lovell destroyed their secret moon base during the Apollo 13 mission. So far, we have been keeping their ships at bay with our protective chemtrail grids and the giant space laser aboard the International Space Station. If the Manthour were to install humanoid drones at the highest levels of government, as they already have in Ohio, these protections could be disabled and our dear planet left vulnerable to invasion.

This is nothing new for the Math Skeptic, of course. I have demanded to see proof of live birth for every presidential candidate since Gerald Ford. And every election cycle, my demands have been ignored. Until now.

Until now.

Candidate Obama has publically released his certification of live birth, immediately arousing my suspicion. Why is this candidate so eager to prove that he's a live-born human? What's he hiding? This sounds exactly like what a pod-cloned cybernetic humanoid drone would do if he were trying to prove that he was NOT a pod-cloned cybernetic humanoid drone.

To be clear - I'm not saying that Barack H. Obama is definitely a pre-invasion scout infiltrating the highest office of the land in order to weaken our defenses and send planetary secrets to the Manthourian Invasion Fleet hiding at the L2 Lagrangian point behind Jupiter. Not at all. That would be a baseless accusation.

I'm just asking questions here.

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Deconstructing π

And so today we find ourselves forced to recognize yet another π Day, that most ridiculous of holidays, on which mathemagicians and their cronies in the geometranista celebrate their success in perpetuating the Great Global Rounding Swindle. Every year, they trot out the "fact' that π, guesstimated to be "3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510," is some sort of miracle number representing the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.

And the worldwide mathmatical cabal, from the most celebrated MIT "professor" to the lowliest elementary school math indoctrinator, parrots the "fact," without proof or challenge. They simply repeat the usual mathemythical orthodoxy, and expect us all to believe it, even memorize it.

What is this assumption based on? This simple formula:

π = ^C/_2r

And how do we "know" that this formula is correct? Because the mathemagicians have also told us this:

C = π x 2r

Oh, how convenient. Do they seriously expect us to believe this circular logic? Apparently so.

On a positive note, there is a growing number of courageous skeptics who challenge this so-called "fact," including fellow math skeptic Bob Palais, Research Mathemagics Professor at the University of Utah, who proudly proclaims that Pi is wrong, or the daring researcher Peter Karbach, who found a flaw in the orthodoxy. Even legal scholars are getting into the act, like the intrepid Kate Pflaumer, former U.S. attorney for the Western District of Washington.

And yet, our schools refuse to teach the controversy. What are they afraid of? What are they hiding? It is up to us in the math skeptic community to pressure our educational system to allow alternate definitions of π into the classroom, before the next generation of children is indoctrinated into the global mathemagical conspiracy.

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